Are you Chinese?” asked the neighborhood children. “No,” I replied to several puzzled, speechless faces. They did not know what to think of me. If I was not “white” like all of them, then what was I? As a young child, I wondered the same question myself. One day while playing, I saw a news flash on TV about the “Vietnam War.” It was the first time I saw someone that knew about Vietnamese people. My parents came to Andrews University in Berrien Springs, Michigan, as Vietnamese foreign college students in the late 1960’s. Because of the escalation of the Vietnam War soon after, they could not go back home. All postal and phone communication between Vietnam and the US was cut off at that time. My parents were worried whether their family in Vietnam would live or die. It was difficult being in a new country as well—learning a new language, a new culture, and being so far away from their family and friends. There was no financial aid, so my father had to take time off school to go door-to-door selling religious books to raise money. That’s why I was born in a rural area of Parkersburg, West Virginia. A few years later, my dad graduated and got a new job, so my parents, older brother, and I moved to Texas.
Growing up
My brother and I grew up in a predominately, Caucasian neighborhood. At home, we were a conservative family, listened to our parents, and did not question much. When I was 11 years old, an evangelist came to our church in Irving, Texas. My young heart was touched at the call to accept Jesus, so I stood up and was soon baptized.
My brother and I went to a public school throughout our elementary years. I remember watching the Miss America pageant and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and thinking there would be no way I could be like them, being a Vietnamese American. “Where do I fit in?”, I wondered.
In public high school, I became influenced by my peers. I always wanted to be included and accepted, yet I always felt different. Since we were Christians and kept the Sabbath, we did not join many of the extracurricular activities
at school or go to their parties. I believed in God yet did not have a personal relationship with Him. When I was ready to go to college, I looked forward to having freedom away from home and to go my own way.
God’s calling
One day my mother was reading a book titled, What Must I Do to Be Saved? She was studying the Bible with a Caucasian lady and becoming increasingly closer to God. It was the first time I remember anyone in our family studying the Bible on a personal level.
I had just graduated from high school at age 17, when a speaker, Ty Gibson from Light Bearers Ministry, came to our church for a weekend revival. I felt that God was directly talking to me. I knew that if I followed my plan to be like other young people in the world, I would be lost. At that point, my heart was truly broken, and I wanted to do what was right and give my life to God.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27), quoted the speaker. I no longer needed to be accepted or try to compare myself to others. My value came from God. Once I committed my life to Him, I felt so much peace in my life.
I started putting God first above everything else, I knew He would guide and direct my path because that is His promise: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths” (Prov. 3:5, 6). I dedicated my life to God and determined to live my life in service for the Lord.
Surprised by love
I also accepted the idea that I would be single for the rest of my life because I thought there was probably no Vietnamese young man that would also put God first in everything. But it was not until I put God first in my life, that He allowed me to meet someone wonderful. My now-husband, Vinh, had just quit his computer engineering career to serve the Lord after attending evangelistic meetings.
I know God directed our paths to intersect, and He had plans for our life together. Vinh and I were married three years later after he had finished Seminary. He had accepted a call to become the pastor of a Vietnamese church, and we moved to Southern California. At age 26, everything was new and different again.
Joys, and challenges
There were many joys, but also the challenges of being a pastoral family. We had just started our ministry when we were chosen to oversee a nationwide Vietnamese camp meeting. I remember holding my baby after an exhaustingly hot day, dealing with complaints, and wondering if I could just quit. “It is so hard!” I thought to myself. I could do nothing else but lay down and sleep, giving my worries to God. Fortunately, by God’s grace, we made it through. It was a very successful camp, and people went home blessed and happy!
Time and time again, when I think life is too difficult, God always gives me assurance and strength. He says, “Just take it one day at a time.” The moments when I’m the weakest and vulnerable are the times when God works wonders.
The story goes on
Vinh and I are blessed with four uniquely gifted sons, who are now of high school and college-age. It has been a privilege to guide them in their discovery of who they are and where they fit in. When I reflect on how God took this young girl who didn’t know who she was, to where I am today—surrounded by my five men and much love, I chuckle at how God must have been waiting patiently while I bumbled through life! Each experience has grown my understanding of a God who loves all of who I am, even when I hadn’t found myself as yet.
My own story certainly has not ended. It continues to develop and grow as God opens new doors each day. I see God working through my children, and even see my story continuing through them! Praise the Lord for everything!
Reflection Questions
1. Can you relate to wondering how you fit in or to wanting to “just quit”? If so, explain.
2. What has been a pleasant surprise to you during your time as the spouse of a minister?
3. How do you intentionally reach out to those in your sphere of influence who are from another country or language group?
Cynthia L. Nguyen, MBA, is married to Pastor Vinh Nguyen, and they are blessed with four sons, Timothy, Samuel, Daniel, and Joseph. Cynthia is a senior accountant at Adventist Media Ministries Support Services in Riverside, California.