God Knows Best: Words of Wisdom from a pastoral spouse
by Eva and Jiří Moskala
Eva Moskala was born in the Czech Republic and studied pediatric nursing in Prague. She worked there at the university urological pediatric clinic. It was also in Prague where she met and married the love of her life, a theology student, Jiří Moskala. In the United States, Eva found work as a dental assistant. The Moskalas have five children and six grandchildren – which have become her priorities since retiring. Eva and Jiří reside in Berrien Springs, Michigan.
When I was young, I never wanted to marry a pastor. The reason was very simple. Both my father and mother were pastors. While growing up me and my nine siblings were left alone while our parents were heavily involved in church life, gave Bible studies, and visited members. The times when we came along to visit people, I remember being told to be quiet, a rather impossible task for us children.
Praise the Lord, God blessed my parents’ labor with many baptisms and the growth of churches in the communist country of Czechoslovakia. Even when my dad was in prison for being an Adventist pastor, my mom continued the work of caring for their churches. To this day, years after they both passed away, people still recall their visits with smiles.
But as for me, feelings of abandonment were deeply implanted in my mind and evoked difficult memories. Therefore, I was determined never to marry a pastor.
I married one anyway
Despite all these odds, I married a pastor. I realize now that God always has better plans for us than what we would choose for ourselves. He knows our hearts, our needs, and what we need to grow in Him. It has been 40 years since I married Jiri and I have enjoyed uplifting my husband in pastoring, teaching, and administrative ministry ever since. It hasn’t always been easy. In fact, some years were downright difficult, especially when our five children were small, and Jiri had three assignments in three different cities. However, I always knew that he loved me, and the kids, and that God would take care of our family.
Words of wisdom
During our years of service, I learned the following wisdom that I would like to share with other pastoral spouses or spouses of bible/theology teachers.
1. The most precious and important thing in life are people; not how much we know, what we possess, or where we travel. What really counts are the relationships we create with others. Making memories with people is the most important way to show love. Although my husband traveled and was busy a lot, when he was home, he played with the kids. Every single Friday night that he was home we had our own Sabbath traditions we enjoyed as a family.
2. One of the best gifts we can give to others is our time. When my husband pastored a church in the Czech Republic, a drunk driver killed the eight-year-old daughter of one of our church members. It was such a painfully tragic and senseless loss of life. Crying with the family and being available anytime they needed was the most important way for me to support them through such unimaginable sorrow. People need our time and love, whether in the midst of the worst of life’s circumstances or in the happy moments of joy and celebration.
3. Hospitality is one way to share your time and love with others. Our home has always been open to students and families, whether for food or fellowship. One of my daughters told me that a friend recently said to her: “I remember going to your parents’ house, it was my safe place when I was a student. I was lonely and your parents made me feel part of the family.” People who have been blessed by you remember it for life.
When traveling to different countries, I often meet people who studied at Andrews University who say to me: “Do you remember me? I was at your house many times, eating your delightful fresh bread!” You don’t have to do impressive things, what people desire is your smile, hugs, and words of encouragement. Small acts of kindness provide some of the best surprises in life.
4. Personal visitations provide the opportunity for you to listen to their incredible stories. Everyone has a story to tell and all are different. During my childhood, I saw how my mom listened to others and prayed with them. Do the same, memorize God’s promises, and write Bible gems on small cards for people you come in contact with. Share with them that God, Who is always for us in His heavenly sanctuary, loves us unselfishly and is ready to work miracles in our lives. Fast and pray for them, and then with them.
God knows best
Today, after forty-one years, I can say with confidence that the life God chose for me was better than I would have chosen for myself. Our children have a father who loves God and is passionate about Him! They fondly remember his open Bible on the kitchen table at all hours of the day and his habit of kneeling by the bedside to pray as soon as he woke up. I see God’s providence throughout my life, and I praise Him for His loving kindness and blessings.